Grace, Charm, Kartik?
by Royal Typewriter
Summary: When Kartik is finally given the chance to prove himself to the Rakshana, he is thrilled. But what is it going to take?
1. The Mission

**Grace, Charm, Beauty…Kartik?**

"We've got a…mission, if you will, for you, Kartik."

I was thrilled. It had to mean something, didn't it?

"Of course," I replied eagerly. "What is it that I get to do?" I could see it already…I just knew it was going to be something manly, something dangerous and possibly even life-threatening, and I'd finally get the chance to prove myself a worthy _die-hard_ member of the Rakshana.

"Kartik."

My brief daydream of myself valiantly slaying some creature of ridiculously large size was interrupted by my leader's voice. He sounded impatient.

"I'm listening," I said hastily. I didn't want to ruin my golden opportunity. "I'm ready for anything you set me to."

There was a slight hesitation on his part.

"Anything?" he sounded almost amused.

"Yes, yes, of course."

"Well…that's very good to hear. Because yours is a _special_ assignment." He paused. "We need someone on the inside."

"I…pardon?"

"Someone on the inside. I need _you_ to be able to survey the girl at all times. Get to know her…find her weaknesses. It will make it that much easier to get what we're after."

"But—I—sir, not to contradict you, but—…"

"But…what?"

"Your Rakshana-ness, how am I to successfully do as you ask…at an all-girls' establishment? It would not make sense to have a _man_ loitering about that place at all times and all hours. Someone would get suspicious."

"Ah." I didn't like the sound of his voice right then. I could hear the sinister smile playing on his lips as he replied, "I've done some thinking. And I believe there is a way."

The audacity! The very nerve! I could not believe what I had just gotten myself into; and yet, I realized, I should have seen it coming from a mile away. I sighed resignedly and glanced over at my escort. He set my trunk down for a moment to ring the bell. The elderly woman; Nightwing, I believe it was, answered the door and gave us both a quick once-over.

"You must be the new student," she said finally, face lighting up in recognition.

"Yes." My escort cleared his throat. "This is Karina."

"Why, _hello_, Karina! Such a lovely name!" Mrs. Nightwing moved to the side and motioned for us to come in. I literally left my remaining dignity at the door as we entered. My companion lowered my baggage once more and with a brisk 'I'll just be going now', he was out of sight…but not before giving me a strange sort of wink, which I could only assume meant 'get the job done, lackey.' I let out a whoosh of air, earning me a hard look from the headmistress.

"I'll show you to your sleeping quarters," she said after a moment's silence. I was left to haul my trunk upwards and down the hall until we reached a room almost identical to that of Gemma and her homely companion.

"Yes. This will do quite nicely." Mrs. Nightwing decided. She smoothed her skirts and nodded at me. "We'll have to get you a uniform…now let's see." She threw open the closet doors and pulled out one of many indistinguishable white outfits. "This should do adequately." Aghast, I realized she expected me to put it on right then. I prayed she'd give me some privacy—yes! She left the room for a moment to let me change. For a moment, I thought my cover would be blown for sure. I wrestled my way out of the pink gown I was wearing and sighed heavily, holding the uniform in front of me. I slipped my legs into the skirt with ease, but I had to squeeze my thighs in a bit. They were so muscular, you know, that it made the skirt a tad tight. I forced my rippling biceps in through the sleeves of the blouse, taking care not to flex too hard in case I tore the fabric. Upon actually buttoning the shirt, I remembered that I wasn't used to having much…_up there._ Pectoral muscles can only do so much. I'd been given some…oh, I can hardly bring myself to say it…_inserts_. They were good-sized balls of silk stuffed with cotton and who knows what else. Grudgingly, I admitted, upon checking the mirror, the effect was quite nice. All that was left to do was sweep on a handsome blue velvet cape and put on the shoes provided.

After shoving my feet into those narrow pointed boots, I lazily flung open the door. Mrs. Nightwing glanced at me and nodded approvingly.

"That will do," she said. "Now, I've other matters to attend to. Supper will be served at six. I expect to see you there."

"Yes, Mrs. Nightwing," I replied as softly as I could. She ambled away, and I sank onto the bed. How was I going to be able to do this? For one thing, the confounded corset was strangling me already. My companion had made sure to lace it up extra tightly, and it didn't help that it was made with whalebone.

That uniform was another story altogether. There was that feeling of air rushing up through the skirt. After wearing pants for so long, well, I didn't like it.

I had to laugh upon seeing myself in the mirror. I'd been provided, as well as those accursed inserts, a special wig. It was elbow-length and black, full of silky ringlets. I did, admittedly, look almost girly, especially with the false eyelashes and excessive rouge.

I decided that maybe I could pull this off. I glanced at my watch. It was time to put my newfound femininity to the test.


	2. Supper

**Chapter II- Femininity **

I checked my appearance once more in the mirror to be sure all was right before sauntering down to the dining area. A few young girls clad in uniforms similar to mine gaped as I passed them, and one of them, a feisty-looking little blonde, hid giggles behind her porcelain hand. I glanced back to see her whisper loudly to her friend, 'the new girl walks like a _man!_'

Appalled, I watched as she performed, in front of a growing crowd of pupils, her interpretation of my stride. Surely it couldn't resemble that lumbering prance that had all the girls laughing without bothering to hide it. I felt a blush creeping up my neck and glared.

Upon hearing the door open, I turned to see Gemma and her little posse walking towards the scene. Quickly, I tried to observe how they carried themselves when they stepped. It looked simple enough…I sucked in my stomach and puffed out my chest, like I'd seen Ithal the gypsy do on many an occasion. I tried to step lightly and take tiny paces. It appeared to be working, as the laughter died down shortly after. As everyone moved along towards the dining hall, I slowed down until I was standing by the little blonde hellion. She peered up and me and tried to suppress a giggle. I reached over and yanked on a ringlet, bending down. Without bothering to use my 'girl' voice, I said,

"If you should _ever_ try something like that again, I will personally come over and make you very, very sorry."

She stared in shock, mouth agape. I assumed this was partly due to the fact that she'd just heard the new girl use a man's voice. At any rate, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before nodding quickly and racing to catch up with her friends. With that, I re-assumed my graceful way of getting about and arrived at the table moments later.

I noticed Gemma squinting at me, as if she were trying to place something. The girl was clever. I hoped she wouldn't be too clever and see through what I'd worked so hard to put together…because if I'd donned this blasted corset for nothing, there was going to be trouble. The 'temptress', as she was known at the gypsy camp I'd stayed with for awhile, Felicity, kept peeking over and muttering to…what was her name? Penny…no…Par…

"Pippa!" Gemma scolded upon hearing a comment made by the same girl I was trying to put a name to. Well, that solved it. Pippa.

The other one, Ann, I believe it was, regarded me with a glazed look in her eyes. I noticed her eying my hair, and sighing as she chewed her own. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. But I had to get back to my current issue…where was I to sit?

"New girl!" Felicity bellowed. I glared but made my way over.

"Yes?" I replied, remembering to incorporate my falsetto.

"So where'd you learn to walk like that—…"

"Felicity, do shut up." Gemma sighed at her friend, and then turned her attentions to me. "Karina, was it?"

"Yes. Erm…charmed, I'm sure." I made what was possibly the most pitiful attempt at a curtsy in history, and almost fell backward.

"Gemma Doyle." She gave me a nod. "I was thinking maybe you'd like to sit with us. It's awful being the new girl," she said pointedly, looking at Pippa and Felicity. They rolled their eyes dramatically and resumed their gossip.

"You'll get used to them, no worries," Gemma assured me. "But for now, supper's being served."

Indeed, it was. It was a lovely-looking meal of roast duck and rice, accompanied by some gravy. I grasped my silverware and eyed my plate. As soon as we were done saying grace, I tore into my duck. The food at the camp had been good, though a bit monotonous at times. We often ate the same thing for days on end. I shoveled some potatoes in my mouth and was suddenly very aware of being watched. I eased my head up and saw every young female at the table staring wide-eyed and looking revolted. I sighed. This was not going well.

"It's a…er…custom from where I come from…yes…we all…attack our food for the first three minutes of the meal…"

This seemed to satisfy most of the onlookers, and they warily resumed their eating. I took care to cut tiny bits of my food from then on, and, daintily, I hoped, wiped my mouth every few moments. I also tried to sit up straighter, and I found that the corset helped keep me from slouching too much.

We were given some custard for dessert. I _adore_ custard, but I do not get it very often. I was savoring every bite when I noticed several of the girls pushing their dishes away half-eaten. I was dumbstruck. Why would anyone pass up something as lovely as custard? I glanced over at Ann, who had also set her plate aside.

"Excuse me, but…are you going to finish that custard?"

"Why, I—…"

"Oh, I was only wondering…because if you weren't, I could help you."

"Karina!" Gemma whispered.

"Yes?"

"How can I put this…it is _our_ custom as young ladies to leave our desserts half-eaten…to show our delicate appetites."

"Whatever is the point of that?"

"Well…they tell us that the menfolk like trim figures on their ladies, and, well, you can't expect to keep a good figure if you finish all your dessert all the time." She said this so matter-of-factly, I could have sworn she was joking.

"Trim figures?"

"That's they way they like it." This was too much.

"We most certainly do _not_ like it that way! In my humble opinion, a woman who looks like a stick is of no use at all! What is the point of having a woman purely for decoration? I can tell you, I prefer—…"

At this point, everyone was staring again.

"I—I mean…I've heard that men prefer…normal-looking women…"

At that, everyone roared with laughter.

"Normal-looking? Is that the polite way of saying _fat?_"

Everyone shrieked with giggles, and I stared down at my plate.

This was going to take some getting used to.


	3. Gossip

**Chapter III – Gossip!**

My first few hours at Spence had been a disaster. After embarrassing myself on the way to and at dinner, I was losing hope. Someone was bound to catch on.

I headed back to my bedroom after vespers, which admittedly had gone relatively well. All we had to do was sit and listen to the reverend. I managed not to blow that. I plodded to my bed and buried my face in my hands. This was not going the way I'd wanted it to at all. What if I completely ruined my chances of currying favor with the Rakshana? I blinked back tears quickly, and one of my false eyelashes lodged itself right in my eye. I swore loudly and winked furiously as I tried to knock it out. I heard a dainty cough from the other side of the room. Of course. I whirled to see Gemma standing in my doorway. Pippa, Felicity and Ann were clustered behind her, eyes widened.

"Karina, whatever are you doing?" Gemma looked concerned. Her crystal green eyes sparkled with compassion that—no! Snap out of it! I shook my head and thought quickly.

"Oh, Gemma, it was horrifying! I was just sitting down on my bed when a large spider crawled into my hair! I tried to swat it off, and it ended up right on my eye!" I decided to play it up and pulled my handkerchief out of my bosom, exaggeratedly fanning myself.

"Why, Karina, that's terrible to hear! Are you quite all right?" Gemma glanced around, most probably looking for the spider.

"I believe I got him off of me just as you ladies were coming in."

"Oh, where is he?" Pippa's eyes darted about the room. "I abhor spiders."

"He most likely left out through that knothole," I said, pointing. "It should be all right now."

"Well, that's grand." Gemma smoothed her hair. "Now, back to why we're here…we were wondering if you'd like to accompany us in Fee's tent in the great hall. The four of us spend time together chatting, and we thought you might like to join us."

"Why, I—I…"

I was overjoyed. I wasn't going to be shunned after all!

"I'd love to!"

"Splendid!" Gemma linked arms with me and the five of us traipsed down to the great hall. Felicity led us to a colorful tent made of vibrant scarves not unlike those I'd seen in kiosks around India. We entered the 'fort' and Gemma motioned for me to sit down on a pillow. Our pillows formed a close circle, and once the flaps were closed, the girls assumed more casual positions.

"What is it that we're going to talk about tonight?" Felicity flopped over on her side. Suddenly, an idea sparked through her gray eyes.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Gem. I haven't seen that Indian fellow of yours in awhile. Isn't he usually prowling about those woods?"

I glanced over to see Gemma look at the ground sadly for a moment. If only she knew.

"I don't know where he's gone off to. He disappears for weeks at a time."

"How mysterious!" Pippa sighed.

"It can get tiresome." Gemma leaned back on her elbows.

"I find an air of mystery _so_ alluring!" It was very like Pippa to say that. The few times I'd heard her talking, it'd had something to do with the many qualities she found romantic or attractive in a man. Suddenly, it occurred to me…this was an opportunity in itself.

"Who is it that you find so attractive?" I smiled demurely.

"Oh, his name's _Kartik_ something-or-other." Pippa gave Gemma a pointed look. She blushed.

"There is nothing going—…"

"Oh, please, Gem! Just stop trying to hide it." Felicity giggled.

"Do you fancy this Kartik fellow?" I leaned closer.

"Why, no, of course—…"

"She _does_." Ann gave her an accusing stare. "I've heard you talking in your sleep before…like the other night for instance! I couldn't get to sleep, so as I was lying awake, I kept hearing you saying 'Kartik! Kartik!'"

This was _certainly_ news to me.

"Well, I can't help it if I have a nightmare…"

"It didn't sound like a nightmare at _all_." Ann and the others began laughing.

"Oh, do shut up." Gemma acted as though she was going to slap her friend, but she laughed good-naturedly as well.

"I mean…I suppose I do find him a _little_ attractive."

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere!"

"A little? Come on, Gem, tell the truth."

"Well...he does have nice hair…"

"And?"

"It's very…soft!"

"Oh, go on!" Felicity was in her element.

"Well, I think what really gets me are those eyes. They're so dark and hypnotizing…I almost can't explain how…"

"He sounds like a wonderful boy," I offered.

"Oh, but he is, Karina! I wish he were here so I could have you meet him. He acts all hard and cold, but in reality he's just so…so…"

"So what?" I was leaning in very closely now.

"He's so amazing I can hardly stand it." Gemma straightened back up. "Now…enough of that. Let's hear about how things are going with your Mr. Bumble, Pip."

"Oh, HEAVENS. I can't stand the man. He's so…ugh!"

We all had a good long laugh at Mr. Bartelby Bumble's expense. The conversation was soon steered around to other topics like the latest Parisian fashions or the new and improved corset. Just hearing the word 'corset' was enough to make my lungs feel tight. It turned out; I noted with delight, that I was not the only one who found it uncomfortable. All four of them put in their two cents about wearing the garment. By the end of our free period, we were all laughing heartily. I realized how wonderful it was to have friends.

I also realized, upon lying in my bed, staring out at the darkened sky…gossip could be a magnificent thing. I fell asleep with a smile.


	4. Realms

**Chapter Four**

**The Realms**

The next few weeks went by in something of the same fashion. I had begun to see that these young ladies, who not so long ago appeared to be nothing more than spoiled, stuck-up schoolgirls looking to make some trouble, were actually wonderful company. And friends.

My only concern was that a certain degree of my manliness was slowly faltering. I was beginning to use my 'girl' voice without having to remind myself, and the corset, dreadful though it was, was nowhere near the torture it was the first day. My manners were even beginning to improve, and I was no longer ridiculed for my walk or eating habits. There were times when I forgot I was on a mission at all.

It never occurred to me that I could get in too deep. I was so caught up in having friends…

"Gemma, we haven't been…out…for awhile." Felicity rolled over onto her side in the tent as she usually did.

I was a bit puzzled at this. Where was there to go?

"Well, I know, but…" Gemma made a quick motion with her eyes in my direction.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, Gem, I've got a wonderful idea!" Pippa wriggled on her knees and clapped for joy. "Let's _bring_ her!"

"Bring her?" Ann looked half appalled, and half excited. They all stared eagerly at Gemma, who was now sitting deep in thought. She looked up after a moment.

"I trust you, Karina. I trust you a lot." There was a pause, and her face lit up with a smile. "Let's bring her, then!"

They all cried with glee at this novel idea. I would have been excited too, only…I had no idea what they were talking about. I was getting used to the ways of femininity, yes, but there is only so far a man can go. Even now, there were things about women that would, I was sure, perplex me forever.

"Where are we going?"

"Look, you'll see. We'll show you. Just don't fall asleep."

"Fall asleep there?"

"No, don't fall asleep here, it's too risky to try to wake up _some _people." At this, Felicity glared at Gemma jokingly. I remembered hearing about the initiation and how Gem had nearly cracked her skull. I had to admit, I was getting curious.

"I'll be awake."

I was so used to going days without sleeping. One night would be no problem…even if the nightgowns were exceptionally comfortable.

Our free hour ended and we were sent off to bed. I settled in, and wondered how long I'd have to wait.

I busied myself by doing some one-handed pushups, until I heard footsteps in the hall. I quickly sat up and tried to look like I wasn't too eager. The door eased open and I saw all four girls, in their cloaks and ready to go. I got up and followed them, getting slightly uneasy as we crossed the grand hall. It was so huge at night.

"Where are we—…"

"Sssh! You'll see!"

So we entered the forest. I was used to those woods, but at the same time a bit perturbed. What sort of tomfoolery were we getting up to?

After quite a bit of twig-snapping and tripping that would have gotten me killed on any of my missions, we arrived at a large cavern. They all dashed inside, lighting up extra lanterns, and I followed, glancing around. I'd seen the cave before but never taken the time to explore it. It was spacious, I'd give it that. I was still unsure. Were we here to gossip?

"Karina, this may be a bit…hard to believe." Gemma stepped back.

"But it's so much fun!" Pippa sat down next to me and squeezed my arm. I watched Gem concentrate for a bit, and…dear God. The door of light.

She wasn't about to…

But before I could say anything, Fee, Pippa, and Ann had all grabbed me and practically dragged me inside. We entered, the door shut and…beautiful. It seemed as though it was everything anyone could want in a place. Flowered field, perfect sky…I was shocked.

"Welcome to the Realms, Karina…" Gemma said quietly.

I still couldn't speak. I'd heard rumors of it from the Rakshana. The stories ranged from it being an unbelievable Eden to a horrible, demon-ridden place. And now I knew. And it made me wonder…did I really want to end this?

"Wish for something, Karina!" Ann shrieked, flying by on a billowing carpet.

"Anything you want here, it's yours." Felicity called out, changing a tree branch into a wiggling puppy.

"It's true!" Pippa was lounging on a hill, hanging onto some knight's arm for dear life. I laughed. Typical, romantic Pippa.

And Gemma was sitting near them, flying a kite that rained sparkles. She smiled and waved.

"Think of something you want! Anything!"

I watched them all a moment, delighted to just observe the scene unfolding. Paradise.

But what _did_ I want?

Was it possible to really get it here? The options seemed so limitless, I didn't know where to begin.

I imagined a moment, and saw a whole dish of custard appear in my hand.

_Yes!_

There were other things I wanted, to be sure, but I didn't know if I could actually hope to have them happen.

There was a rustle in one of the bushes, and I turned swiftly to see who it was. I gasped and looked upon the familiar face, and our eyes locked.

"Amar?"

**Sorry it took me so long. We moved, and wow.**

**Anyway, it should take much less time to update now. Let's here what you think, yeah? Thanks. ******


	5. Amar

"Amar!" I choked out once more. He fixed his eyes with mine, and I was shocked by the transformation in the otherwise familiar face. Even though the period of our separation was growing longer by the day, there are some things one never forgets.

His eyes _never_ looked like that.

They were always that shade of brown that marked a family resemblance—every one of my immediate relatives had the same color. They would shine when he was keeping something a surprise, and blaze when he was very angry, but they were always that peculiar golden-amber. He could use the hue to convey whatever emotion he was feeling, but they were _there_. I desperately searched the black holes they seemed to have given themselves over to, and everything slowed around me as I realized they were nowhere to be found.

"Brother?" I ventured, surprising myself with the timidity in my voice. His eyes never moved; he simply seemed to be waiting. I stepped forward, suddenly remembering I was in a very, though tasteful, feminine dress. I knew exactly what he would have said, had this been _my_ Amar.

"Kartik, what on earth are you _wearing_?" he'd circle me, trying to hold back the inevitable bout of laughter. And he'd ask if I'd attracted any handsome young Gypsies, or if I'd received any marriage proposals from desperate forty-year-old men. He'd try and gauge the reactions of said men on the supposed wedding night. He would say things that only he could get away with, and I would play along.

Amar did nothing of that sort. I watched him closely, and he barely blinked.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" I spoke up once more. "Don't I look ridiculous?" I gestured at the skirts. "Don't you see how absurd I look, Amar?"

His horse—or whatever it is he's riding, for I couldn't quite tell—a mix between some sort of equine and a skeleton, shifted its feet impatiently.

"I'm wearing a _dress_, Amar! I—I've got this wig on, and all this rouge, and…and…" I was even more shocked by the fact that I was now blinking back tears. "I've got _inserts_, Amar! It doesn't get much more effeminate than that, why don't you say something? Tell me how outrageous I am, Amar!"

My slight hysteria had little effect on him, for he emitted some nature of guttural growl to his horse and, keeping our eyes locked until the second they got far enough away, left me there.

"I did this for you!" I bellowed after my brother in one last attempt to get him back.

Years of being trained to banish all emotions from within me seemed to disappear right then as I sank to the ground, crying with absolutely no restraint for the first time since I left home. I buried my head in my knees and felt all the pent-up hope that I would one day see him again escaping in endless, wracking sobs.

It felt like an eternity before I finally raised my head to breathe. I was quite breathless, but it was nothing compared to wiping my eyes and realizing who was right in front of me.

"Gemma! I—why—I…"

She sat casually, legs bent to the side. "Just how long did you think you could keep that up?"

My heart stopped. "I—I'm sure I don't—keep what up?"

"You make a terrible girl, Kartik."

For several seconds, I could only stare at her in shock. Was it my display a few seconds ago? Had she seen? How had she found out?

"How long have you known?" I finally forced myself to ask.

"You had me fooled," she assured me. I felt slightly more at ease until she grinned and added, "until you walked in the door."

"Then why—?"

"I was fairly certain you wouldn't be in _this_ position if it weren't for something important." She shrugged. "It seemed fitting to let you have a little fun."

"You knew this whole time?" I sighed inwardly.

"Only because I know you." She rolled over onto her stomach and glanced at me. "You have everyone else completely convinced, I promise." She giggled to herself. "Pippa actually asked me the other day how I thought you got your hair like that."

"Gemma, it's a _wig._"

"And you think I'm fool enough to tell people that?" She laughed. "You really should give me more credit."

I should, I realized. I was so sure that even Gemma was under the impression that I was actually female.

"Was the corset for nothing then?" I asked, with a slight air of disdain in my voice.

"Corsets are men's faults entirely." With that, she bolted up and ran, knowing I wouldn't take it lying down.


End file.
